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Meth Tooth

By on October 10, 2009


Mike “Angel Face” Jonjak – VoKills

Billy “the Billdozer” Hafemann – Gee-tar

Ryan “Ryan” Bero – Bass-ification

Dion “Superbeard” Brass – stuff on things

Location: Oconomowoc

Facebook: Meth Tooth



From the moment of the band name’s conception to their present day status of Attic-Based Elevated Grinders, Dion has had a beard and a penchant for hickory, and Billy’s had one (1) b in his name and has, in all likelihood, consumed several slices of pizza; both with and without extra cheese.

Dion, the Gypsy-raised result of a hops-fuelled liaison between a human-sized dwarf and a Slovakian leprechaunette and Billy, a descendant of Cousin It and the unpaid, official representative of the World Golf-Attire Authority began writing in earnest. They quickly realised that their symphonic venture would pay off much more than their proposed aggressive takeover of Whittlin’s R Us and continued to grind sporadically throughout the season known as summer.

A few months (and several hundred bulletins and classified ads) later, Mike was enveloped into the ensemble. Mike had just been fired from his once-illustrious career as an Ahomosexual live-stock fluffer for Bawdy Barnyard Productions after an… “incident“ involving a harmonica, a tub of hummus and an Episcopalian organ- grinder‘s monkey. Once taken on by Meth Tooth, he was put to work strangling the living daylights out of a Shure micro-ma-phone as well as doubling as the official Meth Tooth nip-gripper. At least he did once he’d overcome the nausea from his sudden elevation into the attic, now known as The Meth Lab.

These gravity-enthusiasts, did not allow the lack of a Mother-Pluckin’ Octave-Popper to hold them back from their dream of being payed in beer, Monsters and Ball-In-A-Cups (or would that be Balls-In-A-Cup ?) in return for playing their set; even having a guest appearance from Dance Cadaverous’ low-ender Johnno.

That, apparently was it: Meth Tooth pretending to have a bassist annoyed the piss out of an ancient universal entity known only as Tsi Ss‘Ab, thus causing the aforementioned entity to copulate with a megasauric, amorous 13-fingered cellist of talents-most-gob-smacking. With a clear purpose in mind, Tsi Ss’Ab seduced MechaCellist with the endlessly looped “Legacies Of Molestation” intro and a 30 pack of PBR with a funnel, and their ensuing love-making destroyed entire galaxies (Have you seen this? Have you heard about this?). Thundering out of MechaCellist’s womb comes Ryan, swinging a five-string rumble-stick above his head to whereby storm his way into the Meth Lab and the band’s hearts.

Wisconsin metal band Meth Tooth

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Charlie Hintz

About Charlie Hintz

Artist, musician, designer. General deviant. Collector and curator of the bizarre at Cult of Weird. For the latest weird Wisconsin news and haunted places visit Wisconsin Frights.

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