A meeting was held last week with the parents of our daughter's Girl Scout troop, to which we were not invited, to decide how to proceed in light of recent events. Though the original troop has been dissolved in order to change the troop number, parents have apparently stepped up to lead the new troop.
Stacy and I attended a meeting yesterday called by Girl Scouts to discuss the future of our daughter in the organization. We met with two members of the Milwaukee area council who have been involved in this situation, including chief program officer Mary Black, who sent Stacy the official notification of her removal from her volunteer positions within Girl Scouts.
They offered for our daughter to join this new troop and remain with the girls she has been participating with since kindergarten. However, Stacy will only be allowed to pick up and drop off for meetings, events and outings. They asked that she has no other involvement with the troop.
Apparently 620 WTMJ conservative talk radio thinks we're evil, but as it turns out, we're not sacrificing goats on alters made of Girl Scouts. As a matter of fact, you can hear more negativity in ten minutes of talk radio than you'll find on this entire site. Here is the boring reality of it, which is far less sinister than the skeletons in most people's closets:
Many of us here in Wisconsin have grown up on the stories of Ed Gein, the first time in modern history that humanity was forced to acknowledge the dark depths we were capable of. The incidents that inspired some of the most shocking and terrifying films ever made were our bedtime stories. Many of us still have friends, family or neighbors whose lives were somehow directly or indirectly affected by Ed Gein.
We have been raised on a profound example of what desperate loneliness and extreme religious bigotry are capable of doing to the fragile human psyche.
Folklorist Robert E. Gard wrote in his book Wisconsin Lore that our state has more ghosts per square mile than any other state in the union. Many of the great minds involved in Wisconsin's alternative art and culture have been uniquely shaped by these and many of the other bizarre tales of UFOs, strange creatures and backwoods madmen.
Wisconsin is responsible for two of the world's most deranged killers and cannibals, driven by repression, intolerance and the sheltered inability to communicate or relate to others. Beer and football are acceptable but art and pursuit of enlightenment are not.
Wisconsin Sickness does not represent an obsession with evil, but is instead a study - an exploration of the collective unconscious through art, film, music and other forms of expression.
How many of these artists have killed people? Considering Nate's Satanic obsession with Wisconsin's porn stores, he probably has a dead hooker or two in his closet, but we're all decent people coming together to support each other.
Who is really doing more harm?
Nothing good has ever come from living sheltered lives suppressing what is basic human instinct on the grounds that someone might not understand, or expecting others to be ashamed of their different perspectives and free thinking.
You can live inside your box if you want to.
The box is a cage - I'll take my chances in the wilderness.
I want to thank all of you, from all over, who are supporting Stacy and spreading the word about the ridiculous injustice plaguing Wisconsin Sickness right now.
Also, thanks to the JJO Morning Show, the Milwaukee A.V. Club, Ron Purtee and everyone else for sharing the story. If you hear this on the radio, see it on TV or another website, please let us know.
As of this afternoon Stacy has been officially removed from all volunteer positions with Milwaukee-based Girl Scouts of Wisconsin Southeast, including leadership of the West Bend, WI troop she has been passionately leading since our daughter started kindergarten, due to her involvement with Wisconsin Sickness.
Apparently the few parents who started this witch hunt have also decided to involve the principal of our daughter's school, so who knows where that might lead.
Here is the email from Girl Scouts:
Dear Ms. Hintz:
Following an internal review, we are reaffirming the notice of February 9, 2012 removing you from all of your volunteer positions with Girl Scouts of Wisconsin Southeast. This action is being taken due to violations of policy, including your endorsement, while in a Girl Scout capacity, of a website service that does not live up to the Girl Scout standards and principles.
This notice is effective immediately.
A hard copy of this notification will be sent to you via certified mail.
Mary Black Chief Program Officer
Girl Scouts of Wisconsin Southeast
Milwaukee Service Center
131 S. 69th Street, Milwaukee
Mailing Address
P.O. Box 14999
Milwaukee, WI 53214-0999
Girl Scouting builds girls of
courage, confidence and character,
who make the world a better place.
Ruining lives, taking a dedicated, loving volunteer out of her positions and allowing religious bigotry really shows courage, confidence and character. Thank you for making the world a better place.
I thought satanic panic died out in the 70s and witch hunts were outlawed centuries ago. Though I have very little faith in humanity, I had begun to think that maybe, just maybe, we had evolved to a level of intelligence high enough to understand diversity and prevent primitive belief systems from disrupting an objective view of the world around us.
But apparently that is not the case.
My wife, Stacy Hintz, has been passionately leading our daughter's Girl Scout troop since she entered kindergarten four years ago. She strove to teach the girls to be strong, caring and confident. She organized activities to help the community and teach the girls the value of selflessness. She took on many volunteer positions throughout the school and Girl Scouts that no one else wanted to do, because otherwise no one would have done them. She was chosen to represent Girl Scouts at the national 100-year anniversary convention in Austin, TX. She was praised by parents and representatives of Girl Scouts throughout all levels of the organization for her hard work, dedication and accomplishments. All while we struggled to pay our bills and keep gas in the car due to the time consumed by these volunteer responsibilities.
But it seems that, just recently, a few parents from the troop have become aware of her involvement with Wisconsin Sickness, despite the fact that she has never concealed it, and has been nothing but transparent about who she is and what she does.
She was asked to meet with the co-leader of the troop today, a woman who previously praised my wife for everything she did, with the expectation that Stacy would voluntarily step down from all involvement with the troop, including attending outings with our daughter, because she was clearly evil and involved in demonic activities.
This woman even brought a Bible to the meeting.
She was offended by the presence of Ed Gein on the site. Nate's article that mentions all the porn stores here in Wisconsin is offensive. Examining the presence of evil in the human mind must mean you're working for the devil. She even pointed out that Wisconsin contains the word sin.
This woman claims that, as a big a part of her life as Wisconsin Sickness is, it must ripple into all other parts of life, though she could not name anything in particular besides being late to two meetings. Anyone who knows Stacy knows she is late to everything all the time and it has nothing to do with her work. It has everything to do with her having more responsibilities in her volunteer work than she has time to keep track of. Poor punctuality is not the work of the devil.
Wisconsin Sickness began in 2007, years before Stacy became a Girl Scout leader. Prior to that I ran the original Mental Shed, my website made famous by photoshopped zombie porn, amputees and my daily satiric writings of self-deprecation and social commentary, which launched in 2002. Poor taste? Yes. That was the point. Did we hurt anyone? Were we worshipping Satan and exposing children to pornography? Nope. We were, and continue to be, good people leading good lives, teaching our children to be strong, compassionate and well-mannered individuals. My family is ridiculously poor, yet we continuously strive to help others, living our lives selflessly in pursuit of some greater good.
No different than the Wisconsin Sickness fans and contributors who are also involved in Girl Scouts, the PTO, and throughout this and many other communities. We are everywhere, spreading like an infection just under the diseased skin of your pretty, meaningless lives.
I’m not originally from Wisconsin—I grew up in Georgia—but I write about my current home constantly. On the rare occasion when I’m asked to speak publicly, the dozen or so people who come out are always a bit surprised that I sound more like an Andy Griffith Show character than someone from “S’consin.” Despite my southern drawl, I’m completely infected with Wisconsin’s sickness. While I’ll always be a southern boy at heart (go Braves) I’ve found I fit in better here than anywhere, and I can sum up why in five reasons.
5-Wisconsites Love Halloween.
While I’ll never be ashamed of my home state of Georgia (no matter how badly the Falcons play in the post-season) I cannot forgive the state’s Halloween-a-phobia. A large, very vocal segment of Georgia’s population (mostly fundamentalist Southern Baptists) refuse to allow their kids to even trick-or-treat least the devil lure them to an Ozzy Osbourne concert with a mini-3 Musketeers bar. Here your average Halloween yard display consists of an entire graveyard, a gaggle of zombies, and at least 3 graphic murder scenes. Even the CHURCHES host wonderfully grotesque haunted houses.
4-Porn and Fireworks.
If you ever take a long interstate drive through Wisconsin you’ll realize these two items are the state’s biggest imports AND exports (besides the delicious combination of cheese and beer). After a few dozen miles you’ll be surprised at the scenarios your mind can create involving these two very fundamental and basic resources. “Pow”, “Bang”, and “Sizzle” are applicable sound effects regardless of which of the two you decide to fixate on more.
3-Neil Gaiman Lives Here.
The British-born author of “American Gods” and “The Sandman” moved to Menomonie to be nearer his then-wife’s family in Minnesota. Even though that marriage ended several years ago, Neil still resides in Wisconsin. If it’s good enough for the Prince of Stories, then by God, it’s good enough for me.
2-Roadside Attractions.
Drive in any direction and you’ll quickly stumble across something you never dreamt could exist. LaCrosse is home to the world’s largest six pack. While they're actually giant storage tanks shaped like lager cans, they once held 22,200 barrels of brew. Hayward’s National Fresh Water Fishing Hall of Fame is inside an enormous fiberglass and concrete muskie. Then there’s the House on the Rock in Spring Green. The house itself is a Japanese inspired house built on chimney rock with an unsupported 218 foot long “Infinity Room” that dangles 156 feet in the air. Around this house is an entire campus of amazing weirdness including the world’s largest carousel with no horses, a 200 foot high statue of a kraken’s fight to the death with an unknown species of whale, and a plethora of coin operated music machines that appear to play themselves. Anyone who’s ever accused me of lacking religion has never seen me at the House on the Rock.
1- “The X-Files” is Considered a Documentary.
These days the paranormal is popular damn near everywhere, but in Wisconsin it’s a way of life. The towns and highways are littered with ghosts, the woods are overran with werewolves and goat men, and the skies are congested with flying saucers (three different towns claim to be the UFO capital of Wisconsin). Speak openly about any of these topics anywhere else and people will stare at you like an elk just leapt from your sphincter. In this state, people whip photos of full body apparitions right out of their wallet. My kind of people.
Now that I’ve written this all out, I realize I could condense this article to a single sentence: “Wisconsin is weird and so am I.” But where’s the fun in that?
When packages arrive in the mail from BoredInTheBasement.com I'm usually either really excited or completely horrified to open it. Just because it's Tom and there is a good chance it's either the first print of latest Wisconsin skull t-shirt or maybe, just maybe, it could be pieces of hookers. Not that it's happened yet...but I feel it's best not to rule anything out.
Wisconsin Sickness t-shirts always arrive in white plastic shipping bags, so when this strange square package arrived I immediately enacted the official emergency Wisconsin Sickness hooker disposal protocols.
It wasn't until several days later that I remembered I was actually expecting something other than the usual t-shirt. So I went back out into the woods, dug up the box and opened it to find this strange little creature called a munny custom made for Wisconsin Sickness by the merch mastermind himself.
I still don't quite understand what it is or why it keeps staring at me with a sort of rabid hunger, but it looks pretty badass. So it will be keeping my dead things company for a while until I figure out how to unlock it's murderous rampage capabilities.
Thank you Tom!
If you need screen printing for your band merch or a print-on-demand online shop with real, high-quality screen printing and great service, check out Bored in the Basement.
We had the opportunity to go on an expedition through The Rave in Milwaukee today to scout locations and start planning an upcoming mass Cannibelle photo shoot. As promotions director Justin Moralez walked us through the dark, cavernous spaces he gave us a brief history of the building from its origins as an extravagant private club for a secret society known as the Fraternal Order of the Eagles through to the recent and continuing unexplained phenomena such as bar stools mysteriously turning themselves upside down on the bar.
The Eagles Club building does have a history of death involving suicides, drownings in the now off-limits pool and other such incidents, so a few restless spirits is to be expected. It's when a crowd of people witness a woman enter a bathroom without windows or any other possible exit and lock the door from the inside so that it has to be cut from the hinges, just to find it empty, that people start to get a bit rattled.
We're not sure just yet when this photo shoot will be happening, but we'll need plenty of Cannibelles (official Wisconsin Sickness models - get involved here) and photographers to make the most of the time we have. Also, we will have someone on hand with a video camera to document the event!
Anyone interested in being a part of this in any capacity should contact us or shoot us an email at [email protected]
Thanks to Jack and Justin for helping make this a possibility!
I couldn't help but snap some shots of some of the more fascinating things still left over from the club's golden age, including what used to be known as the Million Dollar Ballroom:
More vintage photos from the club's past on The Rave website right here.
A couple weeks ago we gathered in my basement 'round the ol' Christmas tree with ornaments, garland, stockings, bones and bondage gear to shoot the first ever Very Merry Cannibelle Christmas. What I envisioned in my head was a glamorous 50's style pin-up shoot with the gorgeous Cannibelles in red and green Christmas lingerie, fluffy white fake snow and severed body parts.
What happened instead was too much cake-flavored vodka, animal bones fresh out of the woods still smelling of dank earth, and a set of photos that range from dark and sexy to disturbing and bordering on the pornographic. It looks like a serial killer's vintage holiday scrapbook, unearthed after decades rotting beneath the floorboards of a decrepit and long-abandoned farmhouse.
Fitting, I suppose, for a group art project celebrating Wisconsin's dark underbelly.
Also, there were lots of broken Christmas bulbs by the end of the night. Who puts those on the floor where a drunk is trying to stumble?
Met up with brand new Cannibelle Sparrow yesterday to get her inducted into the Cannibelle cult of sexy deviants. She was awesome, and the shoot turned out great!
I'm hoping to have her first set up by Wednesday, and hopefully another shoot in the works already by that point. She's great in front of the camera and has some awesome tats. I'm particularly fond of the dead bird.
Here is a quick preview:
Check out more about Sparrow on her profile right here.
The tragic tale of Jack began several years ago when my neighbor was going to throw him away. I had always wanted a trunk leg of my own, so I gave him a new trunk to hang out of. Not long after, bad things began to happen.
While on her way to work, my wife was pulled over in Port Washington. She was the subject of an ABP put out in Saukville because concerned citizens were calling the police. Following a mandatory investigation, Jack was forced to be hidden away like a shameful, dirty thing.
Now, two years later, the onset of the Fall season warmed my heart. I decided Jack should have his freedom back for one last Halloween before he retired to the wall above my computer.
Then, this afternoon a cop showed up at my door. I love when they show up unexpectedly, like the time the West Bend Police Department sent six officers to arrest me on a warrant for stolen library materials. Which obviously I didn't do, unless I strike you as the type to check out Benny Hill videos and Islamic books. But I still went to jail and paid $600 for it.
This time, though, was different. Jack had once again put people in tears. My dear concerned neighbors feared a small child had become trapped in my trunk. Not just one neighbor, mind you, but several had called the police about Jack. The fake fucking plastic foot.
So Jack has now been banned in three towns.
Sure, I could leave him out. At the risk of a $200 disorderly conduct fine if he terrorized one more fine, upstanding citizen.
I've wanted a trunk leg my whole life. It was my own personal Holy Grail. But apparently no one in the Western world has ever seen one before. The logical conclusion is that there is a body in my trunk and I left a leg dangling out. So, since I'm way too poor to pay a fine, I guess Jack goes into early retirement. Sorry ol' buddy.
I urge you, citizens who aren't brain dead idiots, rise up! If we all have trunk legs, then we can call the police for being disturbed by those without one.
