// Nikki Farce

Here is a canned explanation to all that apply/are tagged/are interested in helping me:

I have to write a paper for a career placement program, and I did a bunch of assessments on wiscareers.com that resulted in all kinds of creative awesome jobs. At the top of the list, I came out with:
-Radio/television/entertainment host
-Musician
-Actor
-Graphic/Display/Set/and Fashion Design
-DJ
-Writer/editor
-Special

Effects Coordinator
And Production Assistant/Director, which I was thrilled about. However, my instructor informed me that not only are these “not real jobs”, but are “virtually impossible fields to be successful in.”
I know she is wrong and find it mildly hypocritical that she would assign me such a project and then tell me that its unrealistic to accomplish the results. She told me I was to pick another “more likely” job than the ones the test came up with, so as I chose auto-mechanics. Now, I know most, if not all of us are starving artists, but regardless of “monetary success” which is what she is thinking, my happiness is ultimately what comes first as far as my future career is concerned. I have to interview people that have my “job of choice” and compile a paper about the information I’ve gathered and why I want to persue said career.
That said…
Any and all that would be willing, I implore you to PLEASE answer the generic questions I have numbered at the bottom of this note pertaining to your specific “career”. Copy and paste into a Facebook Message, or an actual email, I don’t care too much either way, just so long as you answer the questions.
My plan is to write one paper on the separate dynamics of ALL the things I want to (as well as am or can be qualified to do) to prove that although “farfetched”, its possible for me to do something fun and simultaneously make a successful career out of it. My goal is to demonstrate that I won’t be pigeonholed into some shitty career that I’ll hate for the rest of my life when I know damn well there are a million better things out there that I don’t have to compromise happiness to do.
Thank you for your time, and here are my interview questions:
1. Give me your
Name:
Company name:
Job Position:
Phone number (I don’t think its required…)

2. What made you choose your career?

3. List 3 positive and 3 negative aspects that the general public may not consider or know about when persuing this career.

4. What are the opportunities like for this job in the community?

5. What is the starting wage for your job? Advancement wage?

6. What kind of training and/or classes did you have to complete? How long did it take?

7. What skills or characteristics are required?

8. Describe for me an average workday.

9. Why do you like working for [the company you work for]?

10. What advice would you give me about persuing your career?

11. What is the dress code, if any?

12. How much interpersonal contact is there?

13. Is it an independent position, or are there a lot of people telling you what to do?

Again, thank you so much for the help, I can’t wait for the messages to start rolling in!
-Nik

You’re Vain if you think its to you.
Unless its undeniable or I’ve told you so.
But that would ruin the anonymity of the fun for everyone else to speculate and go “oooh, she mad!”
I’m not particularly ANGRY, I’m just getting sick of biting my tongue for the sake of niceties and since people seem to be entertained by my outbursts when they DO happen, What the hell.

Oh but by the way, for Charlie’s sake:

My opinions and thoughts (Although property of) do not reflect the thoughts or opinions of anybody at Wisconsin Sickness but ME, so if I haul off and say something foolish or offensive to you, do NOT hold anybody accountable for that but ME!
Because I’ll own it ALL DAY LONG.

Thanks! Have a great day!

Problem? Come at me Bro:
[email protected]

This is a supplemental piece for some clarification, not an actual verse.
Now, as I’m the first to admit, puberty sucked. For me, for you, for everyone. But I specifically hated puberty for two huge reasons. Abercrombie and Fitch. No, I’m not talking about the name brand, I’m talking about going to bed one night with 36 B’s and waking up the next day with a 38 Deuce DD and suddenly being whipsmacked into the hungry eyes of all the horny little boys at school. It’s funny, it didn’t matter waaaaay back then that I was fat still. No, now they quit snickering about that because I had tits.
Now, for someone that wanted so desperately NOT to be looked at, all that attention was utterly terrifying. I brushed it off though, because by then I was pretty used to the fact that I was different and had accepted that I would be strange but not let others bother me. It’s not like I could go home and cry to my parents about it, they’d tell me to grow the fuck up and get on with it. And I knew that already.
So when boys stopped teasing me, they started wanting to touch me instead. Coincidentally the same boys!
Okay, I lied. This is the first verse on Naivete.
I forgave them and chalked it up to immaturity. They’d get friendly and want to grab and kiss and I figured “okay well, I guess if this is how it works…” but let me tell you.
It got old. I didn’t want to kiss. Or be touched. Or thought of sexually at all, in fact. It made me uncomfortable. I just wanted to hang out and smoke cigarettes and listen to music.
They assumed because I was equipped that I was just rarin’ to use it. Not.
After a while, they would get pushy, and finally I pushed back. Hard. Who likes to be uncomfortable? Not I, and oh, but THEN there was still something wrong with me…
You kiss a boy once and you’re a whore. You tell him to quit touching you and go beat himself off for all I care, suddenly you’re a bitch and a tease, oh AND a whore! What?!
Silly me, and I wanted then to like me for my mind, first and foremost.

I learned at the tender age of 9 that, if you like a boy, DON’T TELL HIM. At 9, you don’t know what dating is, all you know is what older folks do, so you mimic. I, mimic my mother. Who happens to be the most honest person I know. So I had a “crush” on this boy named Justin. I decided (that day) to tell him I liked him before school. By 9oclock gym class, we were boyfriend and girlfriend. We sat together at lunch at the same table while all our friends stared on, green with jealousy. At 3 when it was time to get on the school bus to go home, he came up to me and said “I don’t like you anymore. You’re dumped.”
I cried all the way home.
Not only that, but when I got home, I ran to my room and turned Backstreet Boys on my tiny boombox and listened to “I’ll never break your heart” (track 8) over and over on repeat and cried some more until my dad and step mom came home. I was such a prepubescent mess.
I wish I could say my parents and I had a Danny Tanner moment, but that’s not the case.
I’m pretty sure they told me to stop being so stupid and here’s your dinner you’re too young for that shit take a shower did you get your period yet go to bed.
Moral of the story?
There is none.

I’ve recently come into some bits of knowledge that I, as a reflective sort of girl, feel the need to share with the likes of you. You know, the internet.
Yall are my closest friends after all, and know everything there is to know about me. Or all I choose to share anyhow.
This is the intro to my lifes book.
My bible.
Fucking Saint Farce.

I can now wirelessly update my page with no issues because guess why?
I got an APP for that! So now keeping this thing up to date should be easy!
Farce WIN!

I totally got arrested yesterday!
lmfao the officer pulled us over for speeding, and the guy I was with has… well, lets say a “Bad family name” with the local law enforcement, so we naturally assumed he was going to nail us to the wall and we would be utterly fucked… but he said he would cut us a break if we fixed the laundrylist of things that were WRONG with LeTaurus, plus a seatbelt fine and warning for speeding, and he would go print off our citations and be back in a moment.
We laughed it off as soon as he walked away, because his exact words to my driver were, “Youre not the one with the souped-up Mustang Fastback I used to chase around, are ya?” and I said “Not THIS one, no!” and he, like a retard, said “Nope, wasn’t me, must’ve been my dad, or my grampa.”
What’s wrong with that statement?
Well, for one, the State Trooper is YOUNGER than my MOM, so for him to have been chasing my friend’s GRANDfather was a little mean for him to say, insinutating the offier BE OLD ENOUGH to have done so, and TWO:
If a cop asks you in THAT tone of voice if you’re related to THOSE (insert last name her), you never answer yes! That’s just common sense! I would NEVER claim ANY of my family when the police are invloved, lmfao! (You’d understand if you knew them…)
ANYway, it started to take a long time and the officer was still in his car and we both started sweating a little (Come on, whou wouldn’t?) and when he FINally came back to my window, he leaned in and said, “You, right?” and pointed at ME.
(Now before I go on, just let me clarify something: I may come off as a bad-ass, and if I don’t, I should, because I totally AM, BUT. I never do REALLY bad stuff, and if I DO, I DO NOT get CAUGHT at it. Rarely.)
I nod at the officer. He says:
“Have you ever been arrested in New London before?”
I laughed really hard becuse I thought he was kidding, and I said “Lololol! Not to my recollection, no! Why?”
He says:
“Well, I honestly didn’t think so. But. According to my computer, you should have been-” (At this point my mind flashes to all the bad things I HAD done and am wondering what incident Ive ever even had with the police that I could’ve been incarcerated for, and I can think of none.)
“-and it says that I have a warrent here for your arrest from the New London Police Department.” (I STILL think he’s fucking with me, so I lol some more.)
“Um, it’s not telling me WHY, but I guess what I’m saying here is, You are formally under arrest. I’m honestly not sure at all what for, since you seem pretty confused too, but I’m gonna have to escort you to town and we’ll all find out what’s going on when we get there.”
(I’m honestly in some sort of shock now, because… WHAT?)
“Uh, Okay Officer. I guess.”
“You can drive there, thats fine, I’m not gonna rip you out of your car in front of your friend and your baby and the whole world of Northport here, but I AM going to follow you there, so don’t, you know, make any sudden turns or speed or anything, ya know?”

And So we departed. And when we arrived, I got out (like so many times before, when I had been NOT so nicely escorted into the PD for countless runaway “give her back to her parents” exchanges…)
and I looked at him and said “Well aren’t you coming in with me, so they don’t, you know, tackle me or something?”
He laughed at me and said
“No, but if they do, come out and let me know so I can have them do it again and take pictures, cuz that’d be kinda funny to see…”
I went in absolutely not knowing what to expect, and the cold, emotionless drone at the desk said “Oh. you.”
and handed me my paper.
“This is your court date. If you fail to show up for THIS court date, we will put out a body-only warrant and will take you directly to jail. Do you understand?”
I nod, and take the paper, and when I looked at the bottom to see what’n the fuck I DID, All I saw was the word “Truant”.
And I choked back a HUGE snort-laugh!
I covered my mouth, looked back at the lady as if to say “Are you fucking SERIOUS?!” but I stayed silent and instead just asked her with my eyes…
She did not respond at all. OBviously the humor was lost on her.
But not on the nice officer waiting for me outside.
“LMFAO, REALLY?! You know what you should do?! You should show up to court dressed as a School Girl, skip in, pay your fine, and then skip back out!”

Oh if only he knew, that that was the WRONGEST thing to say, to the WRONGEST person…
And So, The “Too Cool For School Party” was born.
On November the 18th, 2o1o, at 2:30 PM, I am going to roll up to the New London MuNICIPAL (Spell it RIGHT!) Court House in a chopped and screwed, Rat Rod Bus, dressed as a schoolgirl, skip in, pay my fine, skip back out, board the bus, and be off to Philagain’s Island for the BEST High-School themed debaucheryfest since, well, my Junior Prom!
WHO else is with me?!
Lets DO THIS UP!

I know, I know, BUT. As you may or may not know, your little Cannibelle has been working myself VERY hard in other aspects, as well as having to temporarily dismember this-here page so as to accomodate for more memory and yatta yatta and so-on… SO.
I have gotten myself a photographer.
A good one.
and his work is FANTASTIC. As soon as he sends me the watermarked proofs, I will be able to post (SOME) of them up, and am trying to figure out how to mayhaps make some $ on the REALLY awesome ones…
He makes me look like a REAL pin-up model! Which is kinda where it looks like I may be heading towards. Shibby!
For the record, it is WAAAAY harder to put together a portfolio than you would think. Especially in the Valley.
I created a Model Mayhem Profile, though. And appearently people on there are very interested in working with me as well… so we’ll see where those opportunities lead.
Just goes to show ya I guess… Every time I don’t make it for something, (The Real World, American Idol…)
Something WAY awesomer comes along that wouldn’t have had I gotten accepted. :)
Just keeping it optimistic until then…
-<3 Nik

Being without my phone today gave me the (incredibly refreshing) ability to lose the biggest distraction in my life and for once allowed me to be able to be (slightly) disconnected from the world… (After all, it IS 2 am and here I am braving “severe weather” sitting in my car outside Mc Donalds to steal WiFi…) any hoo. I got to get out the good ol’ “analog” ways of doing things, ie, pen and journal, and I really got some reflecting done. It feels nice to be able to dance about in this newfound clarity, and I owe it all to picking up a pen! REALLY. You should try it, its like getting to know yourself all over again, (Which was an actual issue for me.)
Ive been SSSOOOOO busy lately with ALL sorts of stuff, but really unable to take any time for me. I’m very pleased as punch. Now, back to my REAL job with this page… SCHOOLING YOUR FACE!

This Saturday, The EPICK-iST band I have ever heard of but not yet seen OR heard, EREBUS, will be throwing it down at the Lizards Lounge in Oshkosh at 8 PM, so get yer Lichen asses to that show for me… I’m stuck makin’ money and unfortunately will not be able to get there… (Disclaimer: If you truly ARE a werewolf planning to see said show, STAY AWAY FROM THAT BASS PLAYER.)
Wednesday, I have the pleasure of being in an indepentant WI horror film, (again!) written and directed by the incredible and fascinating Tom Muschitz. If you’re unfamilliar with him or his work, look him up, he’s a truly awesome person!
And.
Thursday will be a HUUGE night for my good friends, (say it with me, Bulletheads!) 9mm SOLUTION!
The boys will be playing OPENING NIGHT of SUMMERFEST (That’s June 24th,) on the rock stage at 5:00 Pm! I’m SO excited for them and every single one of you had SOO better be there, or I (And prolly Hobbes and Katie too,) will be SOO huffy, we’ll all have banana seats and fucking streamers and glitter, is how huffy we will be!
I need to get back home before my Taurus and I blow away, But I will SURELY wite more tomorrow night!
Sleep Well, my little trilobytes! (oh, wait, that’s me, with my epic HORSE SHOE CRAB rib tattoo that I got at COLOR BOMB last night after I SWORE I would never get another rib piece again!)

Aint he CUTE?!

So goodnight and farewell until tomorrow!